2014 (Pt 3- December)

December (If you thought it was image Heavy before… just wait!)

  • Beaker started Lil Bit’s birthday off BIG!

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Lego Advent Calendar from Beaker

  • Annual tradition. I think I started this when she was 2. Her fave breakfast has always been pancakes so i made them in the shape of her age every birthday. The 8 was trick, but I got it done 😉

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  • The surprise of the day was taking her to Build a Bear to fix Pinkie Pie who’s threading was coming out. Of course we got Pinkie fixed, but I also let her choose a new Pony.

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  • And since we were in the mall anyway, and so was the man in red… well…

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  • THEN I called up her godmother who was nearby and met us at Chili’s for dinner. To Lil Bit’s surprise! She was also quite shy when the staff sang her Happy Birthday.

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  • Her BIGGEST request this year, at least expense wise, was the American Girl doll of the Year. Of course the doll loved dance just like her and had a similar name… so HOW could I say no? Well… i couldn’t…

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  • Even thought she had desert at Chili’s we had to have a cake at home. No sugar high though. She didn’t like the frosting she picked out!!

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  • Lil Bit got to see a live performance of The Nutcracker as part of a school field trip. She enjoyed it so much and has constantly asked when she could dance in it as well. (She was not in dance this past year, but this lit a fire under that creative idea)
  • We made our first ever Gingerbread House! All the kits I ever saw had peanut/tree nut contamination, so when I saw one that didn’t I jumped at the chance. She had a blast and I hope to do it again!

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  • We attended Member Appreciation Day at Tellus Museum which was a blast as well. They had a photo props (see pic), bags and hats to design, a hot cocoa bar, and a snow tent.

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  • We went to the Pettit Creek Christmas Lights. A drive through light show. A bit expensive, but enjoy it for the time i get to spend with Lil Bit. They have hot cocoa and fire pits that you can get marshmallows for. I ate waaaay too many! Other than that she got to ride a pony

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  • Beaker, our Elf, cause lots and lots of chaos!
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Cheerio Angels?

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Sneaking snacks

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Gone fishing

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Reindeer Games

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My kitchen table…

  • Another tradition of making cookies. Half green, half red. Lil Bit gave Santa a choice. Red or green and egg nog or milk 🙂

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  • A good girl this year. Check out the gifts!

  • I treated myself this year to a bracelet from Kohls. Not quite Pandora, but close enough 😉

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  • And since I got myself the bracelet, I let Lil Bit pick out a charm for me. I gave her free reign and had no idea what she got me until I opened it Christmas Eve. It was torture, but my girl knows me well.

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  • Christmas was amazing and Lil Bit had a blast! She appreciated everything she got and couldn’t wait to play with the new toys or wear her new clothes. Especially when they came with a matching set for Isabelle…

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So this Recap has more been a year in review through pictures, but I am glad to have gone through all the posts and photos. Reminds me of all that we did in 2014. So this is me signing off for now! 

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2014 (PT 2)

This one shouldn’t be quite so image heavy…

August

  • Did calculations and realized that working actually COST me $800 a month. Between babysitting and the cost of gas it was a bit ridiculous. I still stuck with it though, hoping the fact that the job was commission would even it out some more. It didn’t. At least not often.
  • Lil Bit started 2nd grade. Her teacher was a hit immediately which I was grateful for.
  • She unfortunately had to have a tooth pulled (being a chipmunk is detrimental to her teeth :/) and had a spacer put it.
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Passed out at the salon, post dancing post dentis lol

  • I finally got my hair dyed. It’s really annoying to have so much grey hair at my age. Doesn’t hurt that I like red hair :p
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She found it hilarious when I was getting my hair dyed. Had to get a pic

  • Puppy joined me at work. So he wouldn’t be lonely.

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  • We went to Night at the Museum at the Tellus Museum. This is an amazing annual event that we hadn’t been to since the very first. Actors pose as historical figures as well as fictional characters and stay in character the whole night. An amazing, educational, fun night for all!
  • Of course while we were there she kept trying to see the exhibits, so I promised her the next day we would return. It’s a good thing I have an annual membership 😉
  • Not completely personal or family related, but I must mention the loss of a fantastic entertainer, Robin Williams. On more than one occasion he lightened my darkness and just thinking of Lil Bit’s daddy’s impressions of his ‘Golf’ bit kept me going. A very much missed man and a tragedy he is gone so soon. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry or that I wasn’t affected.
  • I officially stopped working at the dance school. I worked hard to keep things flowing and the yearbook going, but in the end work wasn’t appreciated so I stopped trying. I was sad to go since I truly enjoyed the creativity the job gave me, but I hit more brick walls than anything.

September

  • Mom celebrated her 1 year wedding anniversary.
  • We returned to the Tellus Museum (shocking, I know lol!)
  • I rediscovered Beauticontrol and became a consultant. Not 100% active, but enough that I can order things when needed. One of the few cosmetic/bath and body companies that I can use with no worries. I have very sensitive skin, but never have issues with their lines.
  • I had a wonderful fanfiction review that unfortunately did not kick my muse into gear, but gave me a great laugh for sure!
    • “I love your stories so very much especially Corvus. I am in need of more just as I am in need of air to breath. If I die before you finish this story my spirit will haunt you until you finish. I will be the most evil ghost too. I have plans to watch over your shoulder as you write, scrape forks against plates. I will make your cat pounce onto you just as you drift of to sleep.

      if that does not get your creative juices flowing I plan to mess up your hair as soon as you’ve got it fixed perfectly. I will hide your keys and remotes every time you set them down. I will make the power flicker just as you’re about to save a text or game. I will leave your toilet lid up for weeks and then start leaving it down when you get used to that.

      You have been warned!”

  • Attended September Saturdays with the SCA group to see what was going on. They had demonstrations and Lil Bit tried her hand at rock climbing. She didn’t get very far, but she did try and that’s what is important to me.

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October

  • I began a fantastic Meal Plan with a local trainer. It’s all via facebook and I lost lots of inches the first month. not only the weight and inches, but my energy sky rocketed!
  • The workplace becomes a bit stressful for me but I hold on (including my tongue… well mostly anyway. By the end of the month I am over the excitement of a new job)
    • I must vent for a moment. One of the girls at work is getting on my nerves… always talking about ‘don’t you miss your child’. Even to customers. I understand she is a new mom, but it is irking and hurtful and inconsiderate IMHOWe had a woman come in who worked 2 jobs M-F. 8-230, then 4-12. The associate said ‘But you never see your son’. And many other things that I had to tune out. I eventually cut in with ‘You do what you have to do.’Trust me when I say this woman knows that. Trust me when I say I know this. I hate missing a lot from Bella. But we do have time together that we cherish all the more. And I was blessed to have been able to stay at home while i could. Now it’s time to work. To show my child that life isn’t just given to you. You work for it to make your home and to get the things you want.

      Stop judging”

  • Pettit Creek Farms for pumpkin picking and more. She got onto the large trampolines and scared herself I think. Again, I am just happy she tried it 🙂 New experiences are hard for her.

Hay Ride and Feeding the animals

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Bungee/Trampoline

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Around the Grounds (she had to try to get on the poor Hippo)

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Our Pumpkins and a baby one for Puppy lol

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  • What’s a pumpkin without the carving. I free hand drew Oogie Boogie (from Nightmare Before Christmas)
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Dig out the guts!

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Free hand Oogie

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  • After reading the Wizard of Oz in class, Lil bit became slightly obsessed. She loved the movie, loved the books and decided to be Dorothy for Halloween. I even got her her very own Toto. It doesn’t hurt that her school has a Storybook Character day and she got to wear it then as well 🙂

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  • Halloween didn’t last too long unfortunately. We only trick or treated for about 20 minutes before she complained about her stomach hurting her. She ended up sick with the stomach bug all night 😦

November

  • Continued on with another month on the Meal Plans. Amazing results!
  • My niece turned 2 and again I could not be there. Me and Bella are missing so much. 😦
  • Beaker arrived for Thanksgiving as always

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  • And we always find ways to be creative

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  • Lil Bit succeeded with her first wrapped gift.

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One more post to go. December had so many things and photos I had to put it on its own!

2014 (PT 1)

An intense and busy year! Since it is so image heavy I am going to split it into 2 posts. Here is through July 🙂

January 2014

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  • It was probably record breaking cold in GA this month. 9 degrees? 15 degrees?
  • Snow. In GA. Enough said. Seriously. SEE THIS VIDEO (fyi this is just a couple of exits from my own lol)
  • The city basically shut down and was compared to “The Walking Dead” , kids had to stay overnight in schools since parents couldn’t get there to pick them up. People had to stay overnight in their cars… I was just lucky to have been volunteering at the school library that day.

Librarian: “If you want you can probably take Bella home early.”
Me: “Nah It will be okay.”
5 minutes later…
Me: “You know, I think I will talk to the front office” 

  • Good thing too since with less than an inch on the ground (SLUSH!) I slid a bit going up hill :/
  • The world laughed at GA getting some inches of snow and shutting down… I laughed with them. Even though I lived through the same I could only shake my head at the craziness that ensued. (Check Out: 9 Unbelievable Photos of What 1-2 inches of Snow Did to Atlanta)
  • Little bit enjoyed her first REAL snowfall. Making snow angels and smacking me with snowballs. *memories*

January 28:

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February

  • More snow. No, really, I am serious!

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  • I chopped my hair off. 14 inches actually. A shock to my system. I couldn’t go out without straightening it because otherwise it looked like I stuck my finger in a light socket… but otherwise I liked it 😉

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March

  • Pretty quiet month.
  • March 24: Breakfast Club turns 30 😉
  • Got innovative and bought a $5 drying rack to hold Lil Bit’s Build A Bear animals (AKA: My Little Pony Collection)

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April

  • I started Couch to 5K trying to get healthy. I still have a goal of running a 5K. One day I will. I started at about 22 mins/mile. Halfway through the month I was at 15 mins
  • More crafting: skirts, tutus, etc 😉
  • Lil Bit’s first time roller skating! My goddaughter’s 7th birthday party was at a local rink so she got a chance to wear some wheels. At first she was cautious, but by the end of the party she was flying and dancing in her (wheeled) shoes.

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  • Like clockwork, every Wednesday (PE day) she would come home and have a snack before doing her homework. Then while doing her homework, she would fall asleep. Never failed.

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  • Made a reversible purse to match the dress 😀

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  • Pulled Lil Bit’s clothes out one morning… she got mad when i put her in jeans with sparkles. “I don’t want to look cute. I want to be rockin!” Zebra sheer sleeved shirt for the win.

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  • Got called back for some interviews for jobs. I had been applying for a long time and was so happy to have the opportunity again.

May

  • More crafting! Note to self: no more glitter tulle tutus!
  • Attended my beautiful goddaughter’s dance recital 😀
  • Lil Bit performed in her first Talent Show. She was absolutely amazing! The school had told parents to get an instrumental version of the song their child would like to sing – and I was the only one. So, yes, what you hear is all her.

  • We made some craft gifts for her teachers

1st Grade Teacher:

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Music Teacher:

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Art Teacher:

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  • Lil Bit Finished 1st Grade! She had such a fantastic and wonderful year! She got an “Artistic Award” and a Certificate for participation in the Talent Show

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  • I started my new job at a local furniture store and truly understood the saying ‘my dogs are barking’ lol. 38 hrs in the first week and not allowed to sit except on lunch breaks was hard, especially without proper shoes. It was commission sales and a bit hard to get used to things, but I managed. Finding a sitter was a true P-I-T-A though.
  • My cousin got married in NY and i unfortunately could not make it there. I was looking at the pictures and Lil Bit turns to me and says “Hey Mommy, why don’t you get married with someone else?” *face palm*

June

  • Lil Bit’s Dance Recital was amazing as always. She loved her fringed costume most as could be seen by the big smile on her face. Somehow we got all her hair into a bun…

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  • Switched babysitters 3 times. One was too expensive, one unreliable, the other manipulative. Ended going back to the first with a lower fee.
  • Lil Bit experienced her first Flea Market with one of her sitters. Conversation went something like this:

LB: Why are we here, it’s hot
10 minutes later
LB: This is great! Why have we never been here before?!

  • Lil Bit got to see Maleficent at the movies

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  • Puppy needed surgery. Mommy handled it well.

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July

  • Since I got my haircut months ago, she decided she wanted hers cute too. Yes, I cried

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  • Her first watch. Just like I refused to buy her velcro shoes since I knew she could tie her own, I didn’t want to buy her a digital watch.

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  • I turned 31. Google told me happy birthday lol

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  • ‘Kids say the funniest things’: Dropped Lil Bit off at the sitter with a pot of mac’n’cheese. When I picked her up, the sitter handed me the pot back- empty and clean.
    Me: What did you have for lunch?
    LB: Mac n cheese!
    Me: Did you eat the whole pot?!
    LB: Well, I didn’t eat the pot…

*Tap*Tap*Tap* Is this thing on?

Well. So much for updating.

I got a job in May 2014 and the hours were very hard. The work was lots of fun and the money was good, but the work schedule was beyond anything. Time for Lil Bit or even for myself? Non existent. Therefore no time for updates or even thinking about getting on here to update. For now, I will just do a recap of 2014 and then whats new with me. Which is actually quite a bit.

Keep your eyes out for new posts.

Update 3/21/14

Yay for 3 months update!! 

Woo! 

Okay. So things have been so much better this year. It is truly amazing how much difference a teacher can make. I praise her everyday and thank her even more for all the help she has given this year. 

The SST meetings completed and all is well on that end. Though my evaluation and her teacher’s evaluation had her marked borderline Aspergers, all other tests came back negative. She was observed her in the classroom for a couple of days and I did mention that some of their findings were not typical for her. For example, other children touching her or being too close will normally set her off some, but on the one occasion she was observed it did not. Her teacher was in the final meeting and I asked if that was typical behavior for her and her teacher agreed with me that it was not. It probably didn’t help that she knew she was being observed and kept looking at the person askance as if to say ‘WHY are you watching ME?’ She tested ‘Superior’ in all maths, unsurprisingly, and high in other subjects. 

The result is that they will continue to track behavior and ensure that improvement continues. And I am happy with the work and support that I have received and will continue to receive. 

It’s very nice to be able to say that 🙂

2013 Recap

(IMAGE HEAVY POST!)

So, is it sad that to remember what happened in 2013, i have to refer to my facebook page? Anyone who knows me, knows how horrible my memory is… so here we go! In snippets and pictures, I give you our (mostly Lil Bit’s 2013)

(Skipping the drama!!)

January

  • Lil Bit enjoyed her first New Year’s Ball Drop. We watched it on TV and she was so wired, she stayed up until 2am. Luckily she slept in until 11!
  • I made resolutions that never followed through (hahaha)
  • 2nd Lost Tooth!
2nd lost tooth! (1st was 12-28-12)

2nd lost tooth! (1st was 12-28-12)

  • Tornado scare in Cartersville and ‘picnic’ in the school hallways!

February

  • Horton & Horton Hears a Who for Valentines Day from my friend Jen L. who I used to work with at Kennesaw State.
Of Course Lil Bit kidnapped Horton as soon as he came out of the box!

Of Course Lil Bit kidnapped Horton as soon as he came out of the box!

  • This month is always hard for me. Between Valentine’s Day and Lil Bit’s Daddy’s birthday, I tend to be snappish and overemotional (more than usual lol). So nothing really happened.

March

  • I spent most of March taking pictures for the Dance School’s Yearbook. It was a lot of fun and I’d like to think I was pretty successful! (Pictures were used in ‘Collage pages’. The originals are NOT black and white.)

 

  • I also had to buy a new coffee pot! lol Hey it’s a very important purchase!

April

  • My God Daughter turned 6!

May

  • God Daughter’s dance recital 🙂
  • Kindergarten Graduation! 1950’s style fun!

    Dancing and Singing at Kindergarten Graduation

    Dancing and Singing at Kindergarten Graduation

June

  • Dance Recital
  • Dance Summer Camp
  • First Pool Party!
Taking a break from swimming

Taking a break from swimming

July

  • I turned 30! Oh My! Didn’t do anything special… lol

August

  • Welcome to 1st grade and back to dance!
  • Performances at local fairs with the dance school.
  • I am officially hired in an administrative/office capacity for Spirit of Dance Company. (plug here about the site I set up and continue to manage)

September

  • My mom (Lil Bit’s Oma) gets Married! And Lil Bit performs a special dance at the wedding for her and her new husband.
Beautiful on Oma's Wedding Day

Beautiful on Oma’s Wedding Day

Lil Bit’s Performance (facebook video)

October

  • Lil Bit’s first Slumber Party!
  • Pumpkin Carving with Cousins
Get your hand in there!

Get your hand in there!

Pumpkin Guts!

Pumpkin Guts!

Get your hand in there!

Get your hand in there!

  • First Halloween as a witch. I’m so proud! *tear*
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Pretty Witch

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Trick or Treat!

November

  • My niece turned one year old and I was so sad that I couldn’t be there to celebrate. It was also a time for a quiet Thanksgiving with just me and Lil Bit.
  • I started working with Noah’s Ark Animal Workshop which is a stuff’n’fluff party business. I go into homes and schools/daycares and help children hand stuff their very own friend.

December

  • Lil Bit turns 7! Woooow how time flies by! We did her annual number pancake, but i don’t have photos ready to post.
My Little Pony Fan

My Little Pony Fan

Birthday Cake

Birthday Cake

Birthday Party

Birthday Party

Birthday Party Cake (NOT by me!)

Birthday Party Cake (NOT by me!)

  • Christmas Tree decorating
Just right

Just right

My Frankie. Sings 'Fly Me to the Moon'

My Frankie. Sings ‘Fly Me to the Moon’

Ballerina from 2010

Ballerina from 2010

Our tree 2013

Our tree 2013

  • The trouble with Beaker (Elf on the Shelf)
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“Anything for me?”

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Yeah… Hi

  • First Stuff’N’Fluff party- Lil Bit’s birthday party
Ready to be chosen

Ready to be chosen

  • Baking cookies for Santa and spoiled rotten with gifts.
Baking Cookies

Baking Cookies

Messy Helper

Messy Helper

Spoiled rotten, but very much loved

Spoiled rotten, but very much loved

So that is 2013 in a nutshell. We have a lot to look forward to in 2014. Many Blessings to everyone for a prosperous new year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Update 12-24-13

Haven’t had anything to complain about! lol

Honestly I have always been horrendous at keeping up with journaling- even when I was younger, I would skip months at a time. I think the most I wrote was while I was in college- but then I had a lot to get off my chest and out of my head. (A story for another time).

So, how are you? We have been good!

This year has been so amazingly different from any others. Her teacher is so helpful and amazing. It is such a breath of relief for my child to have a teacher who will work WITH me!

The SST (Student Support Team) Meetings have been helpful as well. We have met 4 times- twice without the principal and once without the psychologist. While Lil Bit’s behavior is improving, there are still some things that are a concern.

Lil Bit is sensitive… SENSITIVE. The smallest mistake will make her melt down horrendously. She still has difficulty relating to her peers as well.

This is the primary reason that she is going to be officially evaluated by the school. These past few months they have been watching to gauge whether an evaluation was necessary and they have come to the conclusion that it was.

I’m scared, upset, and nervous. As much as I wanted this, I hoped it wouldn’t really come to this. I feel like I’ve done something wrong in raising her, but she is such an amazingly bright and fun child. I don’t think it is anything like Autism, and I’m still unsure about high functioning Aspergers, but time will tell.

I am going through all this for multiple reasons.

1. her meltdowns not only disrupt her learning, but her classmates’ learning as well. That is unfair to the other children in the class AND to the teacher.

2. While ‘labeling’ a 7 year old is not what I want, understanding what may be causing the reactions will cause teachers to react to her differently (ie. not sitting her in a chair for 2 hours waiting for her to talk….) While all children are different, those with evaluations and a diagnosis are reacted to differently. To sum it up? My child is not a spoiled brat who melts down just because she doesn’t get her way, and it’s time the school saw that.

I’ve had multiple meetings with the teacher this year and they have all been productive. Lil Bit excels in math and science and is at level, if not a bit above, in reading.

After a particularly bad day, she pulled me aside to ask about punishments and to help me understand that they weren’t working- and I agreed. So I changed things up and made the punishments for poor school behavior harder.

Previously if she got on red or blue or yellow she would lose a privilege (TV, Computer, Games). But the next day, she would get a refresh.

Currently if she gets on red, blue or yellow, she loses all privileges- but can only get one back per day. I also made the punishments more detailed. Instead of gaining ‘computer’ she will gain ‘pbs kids games’ or ‘dreambox’- something educational versus something leisurely. The very last thing she can lose is ‘dance’ which is only in extreme situations. It has only happened twice, thankfully.

I knew that the hard part of the current system was going to be remembering which privileges she had earned back. So I printed little 1″x1″ squares with her privileges on them: ‘Netflix’, ‘Disney Jr’, ‘TV & Computer’, ‘DS’, ‘Dance’, ‘tablet’, ‘Slumber Party’. (The last was a one time deal, so sits on the side until it comes up again.) Once printed, i pasted the paper to a sheet of construction paper to make it heavier and cut the squares out. Finally i glued little magnets to the back of each square. This is what I ended up with.

Calendar

CalendarPrivilegesPrivileges

The calendar is actually outside Lil Bit’s room, so she always sees it and can visualize how her behavior affects her fun. When she is on red, I move all of the magnets to ‘No’. If she is on blue or is misbehaving at home, she moves one or two of the magnets (depending on the infraction and level of behavior).

This approach has worked very well- and would never have come to be without her teacher telling me that my methods did nothing to help. Currently she has been on ‘green’ for over a month.

😀

Issues

So, I’m sure those who have read through this blog have realized that I have not been happy with lil bit’s school.

Well… the you know what hit the fan at the end of last school year in may. I think that’s part of why I stopped updating. I still can’t really wrap my head around what happened.

This was at the end of the last school year.

So, Friday May 17th, I was supposed to volunteer in the Library all day. I brought Lil Bit to school only to find out that the librarian was sick, so I wasn’t going to be there. She was upset that I wouldn’t be having lunch with her, but went to class.

Around 1230 I got a call from the Principal that I had to come and bring her home.

When I arrived, I found out that from about 8am-10am she was in the Principal’s office, essentially pouting because she did not want to talk to the Principal. (Mind that I dropped her off around 745-750). After 2 hours, she finally she talked and returned to class.

Then, her class went out to play, but she had morning work to finish since she sat in the principals office for 2 hours doing nothing. Since she was the only one not playing she became upset. Her teacher told her to sit down and then she could play, but Lil Bit didn’t like that at all. She got more upset and pulled up grass and threw it before taking off at a run.

At this point they called the Principal who was at lunch. She told whoever it was to bring Lil Bit to the conference room and she would be there.

Now here is the kicker: They put a 6 year old child throwing a tantrum ALONE in their conference room. Can you guess what happened?

She continued throwing a tantrum- she ended up flipping a shelf on an empty book shelf and apparently ripping thread from two of the leather chairs that the principal said she had just spent hundred of dollars reupholstering.

The result of this was suspension Monday-Wednesday, making her miss the last week of school because of “destruction of school property”.

As we were leaving, I told the principal that I had paid money for Kona Ice for the school’s Fun Day. Before handing me the money, she showed it to Lil Bit and said “What was this money for?” Which she answered “Kona Ice”. The principal added on: “And now you won’t get any because of your behavior.”

To me it was like she was rubbing in the fact. Lil Bit had already been told that she would miss the chance at Fun Day and Kona Ice.

Honestly, I’m not that upset with my daughter. I am very upset with how the school handled this. They put Lil Bit, whose tantrums they are familiar with, in their conference room alone. I don’t care if it was 5 minutes. I don’t care if it was 20 seconds. I feel should not have been done.

They have dealt with her upsets through the year- which included pulling off and throwing shoes, pushing chairs, hiding under tables, and running away.

Don’t get me wrong, I in no way condone this behavior. And she knows better than to act in such a way at home.

I’m was at a loss. I’m not a confrontational person, but that day was just an avalanche of problems. Nothing sat well with me and the stress had me sick to my stomach. I didn’t know what to do. I’m still unsure if I am taking the right path in regards to this. I didn’t know what my options were.

Lil Bit had been sent home before, she had been sent to the Principal’s office before. They always react the same way- one would think that they realized that whatever they did wasn’t working, but they never changed. They never helped. Never even sent her to the school counselor. They just asked me what I did at home. But the way a child reacts to their parents is different from other authority figures, isn’t it?

Am I wrong? Am I overreacting? As a mom and a student of Early Childhood Education… I just don’t know.

Now with the new school year approaching I made a call to the School County offices. We have a Student Support Team meeting next Monday to see what can be done if the behavior continues. The meeting will have me, the County specialist who set the appointment up, school psychologist, the principal and her new teacher. She’ll have her eyes and hearing checked to be sure that is not the issue.

When I mentioned the above incident, the district specialist seemed surprised that nothing had been done before.

It’s not that I hadn’t thought about this, but I didn’t know how to go about it. I asked the school and one teacher told me it would take 6 months (the county told me it would take 60 days) and the school administration just looked at me like I had two heads.

I have noticed little actions that Lil Bit does that concern me, so I want to be sure that things will be handled appropriately. I am afraid of the behavior having a negative affect on her education as well as the education of her peers. I have high hopes for this meeting. I truly hope the school won’t let me down, or I’ll be forced to put her elsewhere. There is a fantastic charter school that i’m considering, but it is a 30 minute drive…

We’ll see.

Today is the first day of first grade, hopefully I’ll update tonight.

March Update

Maybe I only post when I have something to complain about? 😉

Things are good here. Lil Bit is doing amazing in school as always. She still has her ‘moments’ but they are fewer in between.

I recently found out that she was in Horizon, which is a separate class that takes on some of the brighter children once a week. The way I found this out was that she threw a mega tantrum in the class and lost the privilege to go for a week. While I’m happy that she is in such a program, I’m disappointed that I was not told of this before hand.

The day of that meltdown, I was volunteering at the school library, so once I picked up Lil Bit, I searched out the teacher and personally apologized for her behavior and to learn exactly what had happened. It was embarrassing to hear, but I’m glad I approached her about it. Lil Bit also learned from that experience- if it happens again, she loses two weeks, then three, then she can be taken out of the program completely.

That was a few weeks ago, and so far so good.

On other news, I’ve been enlisted to design the yearbook for Lil Bit’s dance school. I’ve been taking pictures of the classes and have been working with the design. Its a fun opportunity and it keeps me busy.

Along with that I’m still writing a bit and have decided to get back into my 3D artwork.

Lil bit woke me up yesterday morning at 3am with a headache- she had a fever. It came out of nowhere. I took her to the doctor and it turns out she has the Flu :(. I got Tamiflu for her and she seems so much better in just one day. Unfortunately she is missing three days of school this week. I hate that because I feel like a bad mom when she has to miss any school days, but there’s really nothing I can do. She can’t go to school sick and is not allowed to go to school unless a fever has been gone for 24 hours- which i understand and agree with, but it still makes me feel bad.

Other than that, I’ve started to change my eating habits and began to exercise again. I’ve started another blog to see if I can keep up with it. With my mom getting married in September, I have a goal to shoot for 🙂

Well, nothing really exciting is going on, so there’s not much to write about.

Until next time!

Pretty

So I stumbled upon this poem by Katie Makkai, thanks to Upworthy. The video is of her performance at the National Poetry Slam 2002.

When I first watched it, I was floored. It is an amazing performance, but the words resonate. Everything our society stands for she hits on. We are a nation of beauty, of skinny, of you are nothing if you are not beautiful.

Why do I love it? Becuase I see it. My 6 year old daughter coming to me and saying ‘I’m not pretty’. Or ‘Am I fat?’ At six years old!

I have found that I blame myself. I’m not happy with myself. I don’t show her that I am happy within my own body, or that I am happy much in general. It’s time for a change.

I’ve watched this video about 5 times already and I get chills every time. It is beautiful and emotional. You have to watch this!

I’ve posted the transcript under the video, which i found at a blog called Diana’s Many Lifetimes. I did correct some of the words, but most of the credit goes to the author of that blog. 

 

Pretty by Katie Makkai

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, “What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? What comes next? Oh right, will I be rich?” Which is almost pretty depending on where you shop. And the pretty question infects from conception, passing blood and breath into cells. The word hangs from our mothers’ hearts in a shrill fluorescent floodlight of worry.

“Will I be wanted? Worthy? Pretty?” But puberty left me this funhouse mirror dryad: teeth set at science fiction angles, crooked nose, face donkey-long and pock-marked where the hormones went finger-painting. My poor mother.

“How could this happen? You’ll have porcelain skin as soon as we can see a dermatologist. You sucked your thumb. That’s why your teeth look like that! You were hit in the face with a Frisbee when you were 6. Otherwise your nose would have been just fine!

“Don’t worry. We’ll get it fixed!” She would say, grasping my face, twisting it this way and that, as though it were a cabbage she might buy.

But this is not about her. Not her fault. She, too, was raised to believe the greatest asset she could bestow upon her awkward little girl was a marketable facade. By 16, I was pickled with ointments, medications, peroxides. Teeth corralled into steel prongs. Laying in a hospital bed, face packed with gauze, cushioning the brand new nose the surgeon had carved.

Belly gorged on 2 pints of my own blood I had swallowed under anesthesia, and every convulsive twist of my gut like my body screaming at me from the inside out, “What did you let them do to you?”

All the while this never-ending chorus droning on and on, like the IV needle dripping liquid beauty into my blood. “Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? Like my mother, unwinding the gift wrap to reveal the bouquet of daughter her $10,000 bought her? Pretty? Pretty.”

And now, I have not seen my own face in 10 years. I have not seen my own face in 10 years, but this is not about me.

This is about the self-mutilating circus we have painted ourselves clowns in. About women who will prowl 30 stores in 6 malls to find the right cocktail dress, but who haven’t a clue where to find fulfillment or how wear joy, wandering through life shackled to a shopping bag, beneath the tyranny of those two pretty syllables.

About men wallowing on bar stools, drearily practicing attraction and everyone who will drift home tonight, crest-fallen because not enough strangers found you suitably fuckable.

This, this is about my own some-day daughter. When you approach me, already stung, stained with insecurity, begging, “Mom, will I be pretty? Will I be pretty?” I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer, “No! The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters.

“You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. But you, will never be merely ‘pretty’.”

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